We all love to be in a relationship, love the attention we get when in a relationship. We love the idea of being in love. But most often than not, we do not understand the meaning of it. Understanding love is difficult and nobody can possibly give a perfect definition of love. Now just to simplify “being in love”, I shall break it down into different stages in a relationship or phases you go through when you are in LOVE with someone.
- Blinded: You both fall in love, and suddenly you only see love and blinded by it.
- Understanding: This is where you actually start to see past the love and know the person for who he/she really is.
- Hatred: This is where after understanding the person, you start to feel annoyed and hate the person’s habit or behavior ‘which you once thought were cute and lovely’
- Maturity: This is the stage where you realize the true meaning of being in an relationship with that person. And it becomes clear if you want to stay or leave.
- Respect: If you manage to reach this stage then you have understood that person and know all his/her flaws and you respect the person for who he/she are.
- Love: This is like getting into a new relationship with the same person. But now you are experienced so you know how to handle and react to things. You turn a blind eye to all his/her flaws and shower the person with different kind of love filled with maturity and respect.
All the seasoned lovers knew these stages very well and agree to an extent. Now there comes a time in a relationship, where most would say its a transition from one stage to another but its not. For me this is a make or break situation, where all the compromises and sacrifice are off. It is pure test of your relationship. I like to call it the Unique Stage. The reason its unique is, its like all the other stages of relationship but it’s not like any of those stage. Huh?? Yea I know. Let me explain, have you ever felt love and hate for the person at the same time? You hate the person’s behavior and all but you are matured enough to see past that behavior but it still annoys you.
Or the time when words like “I Love You” “You are my life” does not make you feel the same like it did before. But you know the person is telling you the truth. You know they mean every word of it but still doesn’t make you feel like it did before. Words fail to impact but then you know the truth. You can call it a transition stage? No you can’t feel two opposite things at the same time but yet you do.
At this point in your relationship you are that close to decide if you want this or not. Part of Maturity stage? Correct but you will still not be able to decide because you busy contemplating the situation. Which could go either way, could lead to healthy mature stage or back to hatred stage.
But this is a very important and critical stage in a relationship which holds the key. It could either make or break a relationship. We all need to be vigilant during this stage in a relationship and be aware about how you feel. Emotions, words, behavior are all in its truest form. Most of us fail to express our feelings at this stage. But we also make sure, the other person will “guess or assume” about our feelings. Since we do not put our feelings in words we act up. Using our actions to express.There would be lots of: “I never expected you to do or say that”, “You are being different”, “I do not know you anymore”, “How much ever I do it will never be enough”.
According to me you all need to really go through this phase for two reasons:
- It will test you and your partner’s bond. How far you both are willing to be with each-other when you both are brutally true to each other.
- The “love” which you were so desperately wanted it to be all rosy, makes you realize true meaning of it.
Acceptance is difficult, everyone is unique with their own thought process. You will learn to accept. Only if you feel all this pain is worth it. “NO PAIN, NO GAIN” and it will be worthy gain. You will have that one person who sees you for who you truly are and to what extent you are ready to go to have them in your life. Trust me the bonding will be on whole new different level. You have to go through this. Only then, will you see the person for who they truly are and that’s when you can say “I know YOU”.
My advice? In the end if you want the relationship, if you want the person to be part of your life then you know which should be your next stage in a relationship.
Share your ideas on the stages of relationship and tell us which stage are you in?