The last few weeks has been a flash of things. With a trip to India awaiting, I have been on a frenzy to prep everything, so my freelance work doesn’t take a hit. But to be true, if I look back, all I see is the emotional stress, the work and meeting some people has been. Yes, I do not care about people who are not close to me, but I sure can’t help feeling bad about things. There is one question that I have persistently asked myself, Why be an ass to others , just because you want to feel important and superior?
Networking is a part of everyday life, being a freelancer and also living in Indonesia. It is the only way to find opportunities and friends in a country unknown. Being a founding member of a BookClub in Jakarta, people have been kind to give me some stardom on things.(Which I still wonder why?) and invariably the one’s who like me, champion me to others. I happened to be introduced to a bunch, and the way one of the ladies responded still in ways bothers me.
“I also read” she declared and said “I don’t have time to come to the meetups, as am always travelling.” What she said was not surprising, but the tone she said it in was. It felt like she wanted to prove, she also read and was as good as me, even better maybe. I wanted to say ” Good for you Girl” but bit my lip, as the sarcasm, also wanted to spill over. It made me wonder, here we are complete strangers and yet she felt the need to want to prove she is good and better than all.
Come to think of it, many people who live abroad tend to do that. I always wonder why? What is this constant need to validate you are better? More so, why the need to do it, by putting others down. Making someone feel smaller, is sure not a way to highlight your achievements right? You know, the most disheartening part of this, the kids pick up this, like it’s a talent and do the same to others. Yes the parents are sure not teaching it, but kids have always learnt from observation right?
It is a sticky situation too, because it’s not they are hurting you(maybe a little they did) and you don’t know how to react. But you also start to wonder about the many, they did succeed to hurt and humiliate. Why be an ass to others , instead achieve so much more than you don’t have to put others down.
One of my clients has a POC, who is rude and has no manners in talking. Last few weeks has been really frustrating for me, as I had to hear words like ‘unprofessional’ and ‘no work ethics;, with no mistake of mine whatsoever. It made me wonder, what led to this. Who gave him the right to say mean things to me?More so, was there even a reason to it? It was more like, his ego got hurt because I asked a question and he decided to show me my place?
LOL. I still laugh about it thinking so. 🙂 When there isn’t a mistake I have done, I will always stand up(no matter who else does) for myself. My career lives and grows on work ethics and professionalism. So my core is set and I know what am doing. But it will be a lie to say, it did not hurt. But later on I pity that person, who feels the need to validate what he did or behaved. With this specific incident, I have thought over and over again, Why be an ass to others (me), just to feel better about what he does?
I despise working with toxic people and wonder how others do it, so well. After a point, you figure it is better to move away from them than to fight. But what I refuse to do and would tell others too, is to not let them make you feel small. Stand up for yourself, especially when you are right and no matter if anybody else will.
The Point Being…Why Be an Ass to Others
Everyone is human and the same. Nobody is ever superior than the other. Maybe in position, status, money, religion etc,. you maybe. But it sure as hell, doesn’t give you a right to be an ASS. Treat everyone as your fellow human beings and treat with kindness. Your life nor your career will move ahead, with being mean to people or putting them down. If you have kids, you should be more careful. You can’t possibly influence the next generation to be an ass. Instead, aspire to be kind to as many people you meet and respect them, no matter their work or background. Instead inspire people to be nice and spread happiness. More so, stand up for your employees, friends, colleagues and family, when you see someone being an ass to them.
The only way to deal with such people is (Like My Husband says) Ignore. 🙂 But only after you have made sure, to stand up for yourself. Like really, Why be an ass to others to feel better about yourself huh?